8 Easy Tips for Reconnecting With Your Partner This Valentine's Day

How do you and your partner spend Valentine’s Day? Do you exchange gifts or enjoy a special meal together? Do you focus on your kids and try to make the holiday special for them? Or, is it just another day? 

No matter how you do (or don’t) celebrate, it’s almost impossible to experience this holiday without thinking about your relationship. If you feel like things have gotten off track, here are some practical tips for reconnecting with your partner. 

Make a Card 

It’s tempting to run to the store and choose from a seemingly limitless selection of cards. While the sentiments are sweet, prewritten scripts never fully capture your true thoughts.  Likewise, there is something so special about making a card from scratch. 

Don’t worry about using the right materials. You only really need paper and a writing utensil. If you want to decorate your card, think creatively! Grab some construction paper, markers, magazine cut-outs, and even glitter.

Get Dressed Up (Even For A Night At Home) 

Even if you’re just going to hang out at home, dressing up for the occasion inherently makes it feel special. So, put on your favorite outfit, and do your hair and makeup. Pretend like you’re getting ready for a fancy date, and encourage your partner to do the same.

Try to capture the evening by lingering over a nice, home-cooked dinner. And don’t forget to commemorate the occasion by taking a few pictures!

Make a Bucket List Together 

All couples are at risk of falling into a rut. Busy schedules, childcare, and work obligations all consume energy, and they can impact relationship closeness. 

This Valentine’s Day, consider sitting down together and making a bucket list. What goals do you each want to achieve? Which places would you like to visit? Are there any new hobbies you want to pursue? Either write these goals down or make a vision board. 

This activity may teach you more about each other, and it can also inspire new ways to spend time together. Commit to revisiting this list next year to reflect on what you accomplished. 

Schedule Sex 

It may sound cliched, but if sex isn’t happening (or it feels dull), it may be time to plan it. Scheduling sex makes it a priority. It also can increase anticipation throughout the day.

To schedule sex effectively, determine a day and time that works best for you. Then make sure you honor your commitment! If you can’t stick to the schedule consistently, consider rescheduling for a different time. 

Check-In About Your Feelings 

You might chat with your partner throughout the day, but it’s easy for these conversations to become more pragmatic than connecting. Yes, you need to know if your partner can pick up eggs and milk, but you also need to know how they’re really feeling.

Set a time each day to really check in with each other. How was your day? How was their day? What stressors are you facing right now? How are you feeling as a couple today? 

Even just devoting 5-10 minutes to having an intentional conversation can make a tremendous difference. Remember that it’s okay to be honest about your struggles. Even if your partner knows you well, they can’t read your mind. If you’re feeling particularly stressed or burnt-out, let them know! 

Learn Something New About Each Other

Many books, conversation cards, and question prompts can help you learn more about your partner. Engaging in these activities can feel like playing a game. However, they also offer a great solution for connecting with one another.

Even playing the old-fashioned game, would you rather, offers a fun way to learn about your partner’s interests and preferences. 

Give Your Partner A Compliment 

Even if you know why you love your partner, how often do you make an effort to let them know? Compliments make people feel appreciated and special, and they’re an easy way to show your affection. 

Keep in mind that good compliments are specific and genuine. For example, it’s fine to say, I love your generosity. But it can be so much more impactful to say, I love how you always give to others. I noticed how you helped our neighbor the other day, and it just reminded me of how compassionate you are. 

Begin Couple’s Therapy 

It may not sound romantic, but couples therapy can offer the practical guidance needed for reconnecting with your partner. Ignoring relationship problems causes more tension and conflict. 

A good therapist can help you both with healthier communication and restoring intimacy. They can also help you navigate difficult life circumstances, such as starting a new job or having a baby. 

If you continue to feel disconnected, angry, or misunderstood in your relationship, it might be worth discussing therapy with your partner.  

Final Thoughts on Reconnecting With Your Partner 

Reconnecting with your partner doesn’t need to be complicated, time-consuming, or expensive. It helps to remember why you chose to be with each other in the first place. It’s also important to focus on the gratitude you have for your relationship.

If you’re struggling with feeling disconnected or resentful, individual therapy can help untangle some of these complex emotions. Together, we can explore your needs and discuss practical solutions for coping with this stress. 

Contact me today to schedule your free phone consultation.