Relationships are hard work, and parenting, of course, can add even more challenges. Moreover, research shows that having children can negatively impact a couple’s happiness. 

While some marital stress is normal, it’s challenging when you feel disconnected, frustrated, or resentful towards your partner. That said, you can learn how to work through such challenges together. Let’s get into it.

What Struggles Do Partners Face When Raising Children? 

No two couples are alike, and no two children are alike. Therefore, there are many different stressors partners might encounter when parenting. However, here are a few common struggles.

Rules and Discipline 

Many couples disagree over how to parent their children. For example, one person might believe in enforcing certain boundaries, whereas the other parent may be more lenient. These conflicts can happen as early as infanthood, and they may persist well after your child leaves home.

Ongoing disagreements, however, can cause friction in the relationship. You may be stuck in the mindset that you always need to “prove yourself right.” However, that mentality only makes parenting more stressful. 

Lack of Time

Parenting probably isn’t your only job. Life gets busy, and you both might be juggling careers, household tasks, and other essential obligations. 

Of course, time is undoubtedly precious. If you feel like you’re constantly competing for time, you may start feeling angry at your partner. You might begin to “keep score” of what you do versus what they do, and resentment often builds if things don’t feel equal. 

Anxiety 

Parenting can be stressful, especially when you aren’t sure how to handle a specific issue related to your child. Unfortunately, instead of working together, partners may unknowingly take out their anxieties on one another.

For example, if you feel anxious about your child’s grades, you may blame your partner for not helping them study enough. Or, if you feel worried about your child’s depression, you might feel angry at your partner if they don’t seem as involved in family therapy.

Tips for Coping With Parenting Stress Together

Learning how to cope with parenting stress as a team can help you feel more united and empowered. Remember that it’s important to collaborate with your partner when trying new strategies. Although things may not change overnight, committing to work together can strengthen your relationship. 

Check-In With Your Feelings Regularly

Make it a point to schedule time to talk about how you feel. Even setting aside a few minutes each night to catch up can help you feel more connected to your partner. 

When interacting with one another, avoid distractions. Instead, give your partner your undivided attention and try to practice active listening. This means listening closely, asking clarification questions if you don’t understand something, and validating their feelings.

Create Ground Rules Together 

Even if you don’t agree on every rule or boundary, it’s important to remain united in front of your children. Undermining one another is disrespectful, and it may teach kids that they don’t need to listen to one parent!

Instead, spend some time thinking about your household rules. What can you both commit to enforcing? Moreover, if you disagree with one another, make it a point to discuss your concerns privately without your kids in the room.

Schedule Time Together 

As parents, it’s easy to fall into the trap of living together without really connecting. But whether you schedule date nights or commit to eating breakfast together a few times a week, quality time is essential for your relationship’s health. 

Ideally, you should prioritize reconnecting during this time. Consider making a rule about having “kid-free conversations.” After all, you are more than parents, and it’s important that you honor these other roles.

Get Support 

If you have a challenging child, this stress can invariably take a toll on the relationship. Furthermore, children with physical or mental health conditions often require additional parental attention, money, and resources. Over time, partners may become frustrated, resentful, or withdrawn from one another. 

Try to stay connected to outside support. For example, it may be helpful to look into local support groups in your area. In addition, online forums or private communities often provide resources and camaraderie. 

Your child, of course, is a significant priority. However, you also need to prioritize yourself and your relationship. Neglecting your well-being often creates more problems related to stress and burnout. 

How Therapy Can Help

Parenting stress can feel overwhelming and frustrating. Similarly, if you don’t address your stress, it can affect your physical and emotional well-being.

Therapy offers a supportive environment for identifying and coping with your feelings. Together, we can discuss healthier ways to manage stress and reconnect with your partner. 

If you are struggling, seeking support can make a tremendous difference. You deserve to take care of yourself. Contact me today to get started.